Genshin Impact: My roommate and I became funny Hilichurls

Page 25

The four shouted in unison, and their perfectly synchronized uppercut sent the Abyss Mage soaring into the sky, transforming him into a shining star.

Gan Yu, who was munching on a refreshing drink in the distance, suddenly froze.

Her ears twitched, and a half-petal still clung to the corner of her mouth: "Hmm?"

She looked up blankly and saw four Hilichurls chasing a runaway Ruin Guardian—wait, runaway?!

"The ruins guard actually ran away? Shouldn't it be a fight to the death...?"

Gan Yu's ahoge (cowlicks) stood up.

The single eye of the ruins guardian flickered with a human-like fear, its legs were flying like sparks, and it occasionally drifted around corners.

Zhang Chu's thunder hammer erupted with blinding lightning, and the Ruins Guardian flew towards Gan Yu like a bowling ball that had been hit.

At the critical moment, Gan Yu executed a classic "Liyue civil servant crouching down with head in hand" maneuver, and the Ruin Guard swept over her head with a "whoosh" and exploded into fireworks on the rock wall behind her.

"Miss Gan Yu!"

Qingyu slid to his knees and stopped in front of her, picking up Qingxin, which she had dropped.

"Are you okay?"

Gu Qian, with a simple and honest expression, presented the freshly picked Qingxin tea: "I'll make it up to you..."

Gan Yu's Qilin horn began to overload and smoke: "G-Gentlemen, honorary knights..."

She suddenly pointed behind the four people.

"Ouch——!"

A demon mage, watching a group of demon mages in the distance with expressions of disdain as they gaze upon a hero...

"Demacia!!"

The four Hilichurls leaped into the air at the same time, completing a textbook combination move in mid-air: Qingyu's throat lock, Erkang's groin grab, Zhang Chu's thunder hammer strike, and Gu Qian's Mount Tai press.

Before the Abyss Mage could even scream, he was slammed into the ground.

All the Abyss Mages: "..."

"Click, click-click..."

The necks of the dozen or so abyss mages rattled like rusty gears as they collectively and stiffly turned their heads—

Four Hilichurls wearing ferocious masks were cracking their knuckles, with dust billowing up behind them from the aftershocks of the battle.

Behind them stood a bewildered Qilin girl, the petals of her Pure Heart Flower slowly drifting down from her hand.

Is it too late to reconcile now?

The leader of the ice abyss trembled as if possessed by Razer.

"Ada!!"

Four afterimages responded to it:

Qingyu's nunchaku dance turned into a tornado;

Er Kang swung the folding stool, leaving afterimages.

Zhang Chu's thunder hammer produced a noise like a thousand birds singing in unison;

Gu Qian transformed directly into a humanoid war chariot, causing the ground to crack three feet deep wherever he passed...

"Ouch-ouch—!"

The ice mage's screams sounded like a slime being choked.

"Yay! Woohoo~"

The fire mage drew a perfect parabola in the air.

"Oh!"

The Thunder Mage's shield shattered into tickets for the Starry Sky Railway.

Gan Yu stared blankly at the abyss mages flying all over the sky—they formed a standard "Big Dipper" pattern in the air, and the most amazing thing was that an ice mage was subconsciously casting a shield on himself.

"All done, that's a wrap!"

The four of them simultaneously swung their capes, their movements so synchronized it looked like they had rehearsed eight hundred times.

As Qingyu turned to ask Gan Yu if she was injured—

"The Knights of Honor... how terrifying..."

The chibi version of Gan Yu has shrunk to the size of a dumpling, and its unicorn horn has turned into wavy lines, trembling rapidly in place.

Her chat window was filled with "shivering" emoticons, and a "danger" effect was floating above her head.

"Ah this..."

A bead of sweat appeared on Er Kang's mask.

Zhang Chu silently hid the thunder hammer behind his back.

Gu Qian tried to use his massive body to block the traces of the battle.

In a moment of quick thinking, Qingyu pulled out a Qingxin flower and sprayed it with a spray bottle: "Want...want a flower?"

The chibi version of Gan Yu's eyes suddenly turned into stars: "It smells so good!"

It instantly reverts to its original form, but shrinks back to its chibi form when it receives the flower, hugging the flower which is bigger than itself and grinning foolishly.

All four men simultaneously coughed up blood from their noses and collapsed to the ground.

A "crack" sound came from the distant cliffs—yet another teacup of a retired deity was ruined today.

Yelan's phonograph faithfully recorded this scene, with the title "About the Seven Star Secretary Being Misled".

"So what's the deal with Gan Yu's ability to change size at will?"

Keqing's purple twin ponytails suddenly exploded, and the construction blueprints in her hands were sculpted into an abstract work of art.

The Liyue map hanging on the conference room wall suddenly fell down with a "thud"—it landed right on a spot marked "Hicmur Riot Zone".

Ye Lan calmly pulled out a stack of photos and tossed them onto the sandalwood table like dealing playing cards:

First picture: Gan Yu in chibi form is riding on Qing Yu's neck, using her Qilin horn to knock away an Ice Abyss Mage;

Second picture: Mini Gan Yu is hugging Er Kang's leg, while the latter is using a folding stool to flatten the head of the King of Chuqiu;

Third picture: Gan Yu, in pixel art style, sits on the remains of a hunter in the ruins and makes a V-sign;

The most amazing one is the fourth one: the rock dragon is beaten up and has tears in its eyes, while Gan Yu is sticking a "bad kid" note on its forehead with her cute little hands...

"Additional explanation."

Ye Lan pressed the playback button on the phonograph (a gift from Zhang Chu), and the screen displayed the four-person team's real-time battle report:

"The eighteenth Abyss Mage—a home run!"

"King Chuucho down—KO!"

"A whole family of rock dragons—"

"You can build a Gundam with the parts from the Ruins Guardian!"

Ningguang's pipe snapped in two with a "crack".

She mechanically turned her head to look out the window—in the distance, on Tianheng Mountain, four small black dots could be vaguely seen beating up some unfortunate relic heavy machine, with a small blue dot bouncing around next to them.

"At least……"

Ningguang's voice sounded like it was being squeezed out from between her teeth.

"They didn't demolish any houses in Liyue Harbor..."

Ke Qing's temples bulged with a cross-shaped vein: "Last time they 'helped' repair the road, they ended up changing the terrain of Guili Plain! Now the Qianyan Army has to carry trekking poles for training!"

Actually, the four-person team was cleaning up the site that day and buried the Immortal Ancestor's physical remains, but they buried a bit too much soil.

Just then, the door to the General Affairs Department was suddenly kicked open.

Covered in dust, Gan Yu rushed in carrying a pile of spoils that was half her height: "Lady Ningguang! This is the Abyss Order's supplies that we seized today!"

A chinchilla mask was still stuck to her unicorn horn.

The conference room fell into dead silence.

Gan Yu then realized her own state, and instantly "poof" shrank into a chibi form, hiding behind the documents, only revealing her big, blinking eyes.

Ye Lan suddenly held up a new photo: "By the way, they're currently helping Bai Zhu test drugs..."

In the photo, four Hilichurls are being chased by Qiqi, with a small Wobbly following behind.

Three beads from Ningguang's abacus flew out of her hand.

Keqing bumped her head on the conference table.

Gan Yu's chibi form turned into gibberish.

Chapter 26 The Chase of Qiqi

"Erkang, what have you done?! Why is Qiqi chasing us with a sword?!"

Zhang Chu's mask was almost falling off, and the lightning hammer on his back was crackling with sparks.

Three meters behind him, Qi Qi, holding a long sword, had red eyes and ran away with short legs, leaving afterimages as the sword blade drew a line of ice on the ground.

"I'm not curious why Qiqi, who isn't a zombie, needs an order to act!"

Er Kang also ran wildly, leaving a trail of footprints behind him.

"I tried issuing her an edict!"

Qingyu roared, "You liar!"

He grabbed Zhang Chu's belt with one hand, lifted Gu Qian by the waist with the other, and finally used his head to lift Er Kang up.

"What good is your half-baked edict—fuck me, how am I supposed to carry that?!"

Two-meter-tall Qingyu was seen carrying a seven-meter-tall Thunder King in one hand, with a thug under his arm and a Water Ranger on his head, running faster than the speeding Ruins Guardian.

Gu Qian, who was being carried, looked completely bewildered as his head smashed through five road signs in succession.